DESERT VISION;;;CLARICE LISPECTOR

“Sleep with me awake, and only thus can you know of my great sleep and know what is the living desert.” 
(The Passion According to GH, Clarice Lispector, Page 105)

From one desert to another and back again, 884908800 seconds into life,, make it real ok,,, make it good.

I finished The Passion According to GH by Clarice Lispector <MY FAVORITE WRITER> on the return flight from Arizona to LA, crying and underlining and making noise from my throat. I hope everything saw.

This is a lovepraise post ok.… because Clarice puts to words transcendence in human experience, transcends me, transcendent sentences pricking the deepest parts of my feeling because of course. She speaks from the core of the core, breathing wordlife into THE THING INSIDE/BEYOND/THE THING ITSELF, abstract living, between moments and how blest are we to read her, blest so blest.

Saturday, with her in the Arizona sun, I making those guttural noises and all at once slipping into meditation, to the higher part of my inside vision, orange amorphous and glimpsing a Me in the desert, middle of the mountain crown, channelling negative energy into the ground because IT’S NOT FOR ME ANYMORE/THE EARTH CAN TAKE IT/GOD KNOWS/THANK YOU.

In GH, Clarice has much to say about the all. About surrender, needing, depersonalization, the neutral, the God, the saltless, millennia, the expanse, accretion. The roach. White paste. Love. You should read her/it will change you/thank you. And maybe roach juice will cure my eczema/STOP THAT/REALIZE YOUR VISION/TOUCH GROUND.

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Ok….here are some quotes from The Passion/I HOPE YOU LIKE THEM :8

“The mystery of human destiny is that we are inevitable, but we have the freedom to carry out or not our inevitability: it depends on us to carry out our inevitable destiny.” (129)

“Three thousand years ago I went astray, and what was left were phonetic fragments of me.” (14)

“What was happening to me? I’ll never understand but there must be someone who understands. And it’s inside myself that I must create that someone who will understand.” (36)

“Finally, my love, I gave in. And it became a now.” (76)

“I want to find joy in this instant—I want the God in whatever comes out of the roach’s belly—even if that, in my forever human terms, means the worst, and, in human terms, the infernal.” (81)

“Since I need to know exactly this: am I feeling what I am feeling, or am I feeling what I would like to feel? or am I feeling what I might need to feel?” (137)

“The divine for me is whatever is real.” (175)

“Perhaps I now knew that I myself would never be equal to life, but that my life was equal to life. I would never reach my root, but my root existed.” (188)

“AND SO I ADORE IT.” (189)

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, beyond sentience, melding with the unknown expanse of all, being, speaking without speaking, spread in mountains, landscapes , , flashes of communication, outside senses, , understanding something might kill it - visioning is strong and imagine having access to all time all the time like would you be ok probably not - it’s ok here tho and contained , I love Clarice thank you Clarice, I love home I love everything tg ,